Mirror Work- A Tool for Inner Work How to Practice Mirror Work (5 Step Guide)
There is an abundance of inner work practices available to us in the 21st century. In my own healing journey, as well as with my clients, I have seen mirror work to be one of the simplest and most powerful practices to guide healing in a variety of ways. Not just mental health, but also with pain, inflammation, routines, boundaries, family struggles, the list in endless.
What is even better is all you need to do mirror work is a mirror – that’s it! And nearly all of us already have access to one.
If you’re looking for a new psychological or spiritual tool to add to your tool box, look no further than your bathroom mirror.
What is Mirror Work?
Mirror Work was a method originally developed by inspirational teacher Louise Hay as a way of getting in touch with the inner self. The primary purpose of mirror work is to develop self-love, self-care and a more meaningful relationship with others. By simply looking into the mirror for a certain amount of time each day and gently talking to yourself, you can foster a more compassionate and forgiving connection with yourself.
It is Uncomfortable to Think About Sitting in Front of the Mirror
I have a challenge for you:
Go sit or stand in front of the mirror in your bathroom for five minutes. Yes, for 5 whole minutes, set a timer! Simply stare at yourself and hold eye contact. That’s it.
Now tell me how you feel.
If you’re like many people, you will experience some discomfort. You may feel awkward, unsettled, embarrassed, emotional, or other feelings like shame, self loathing and criticism arise.
Why does this happen?
As Louise Hay writes in her book-
“The mirror reflects back to you the feelings you have about yourself. It makes you immediately aware of where you are resisting and where you are open and flowing. It clearly shows you what thoughts you will need to change if you want to have a joyous, fulfilling life.”
In other words, there is no hiding when you are in front of the mirror. It is an opportunity to we catch an intimate (and sometimes painful) glimpse into the relationship we have with ourselves.
Mirror work can make us feel initially uneasy because it exposes our inner critic in plain daylight. Suddenly everything we feel about ourselves that we might not be aware of comes to the surface. And if you haven’t developed a compassionate relationship with yourself, you might be prone to believing all the nastiness whispered by your inner critic. The nastinesby our inner critic are lies, do not believe them.
Mirror Work and Reconnecting With the Inner Child
Another reason why mirror work can make us uncomfortable is that it exposes vulnerable parts of our inner selves that we may be hiding from or that we have not been strong enough to learn about yet. Mirror work can bring us face to face with the child within us.
We all possess an inner child. Developmentally, the inner child can suffer trauma and wounds that get covered up and as adults we may experience pain, suffering, addictions, depression, obsessions. The inner child is one of many energetic forms that create our personality structures.
When looking into the mirror, it’s not unusual to feel waves of sadness come over you. This sadness can be your inner child pleading with you to heal. Although looking into the mirror can be upsetting at times, these feelings point to deeper work that is happening. Simply gazing at yourself in the mirror and comforting your inner child can be a tremendously healing practice, and is a form of psychological healing. The more emotional you feel, the more emotional purging and transformation are happening.
The Eyes are Mirror to the Soul
The eyes are the mirrors to the Soul as the old saying goes, and mirror work gives you direct access. But first, the inner work must happen. Mirror Work can feel like returning home to the truest, most whole, and wisest part of yourself. If you find yourself wanting a trusted person to do this deep work with, I can facilitate healing before, during and after the mirror during one of my Transformative Sessions. Typically you will need to work through your insecurities and self-resentments by practicing self-love before you can feel and sense your deeper inner presence emerge.
How to Practice Mirror Work (Step-By-Step Guide)
Personally, I prefer to tailor mirror work to myself and my own needs and love watching the inner healing happen when I offer this to my clients. Here are some of the fundamental principles of mirror work that you might like to keep in mind if you want to create your own practice:
Use affirmations that feel authentic to you (I’ll explain this more below)
Dedicate at least five minutes every day
Do mirror work in private so that you aren’t disturbed
It’s okay to feel emotional – let yourself feel whatever comes up
Keep a journal where you record any notable experiences (I’ll explain this more below
With that being said, here is a simple step-by-step guide to mirror work that you can use and adapt to your own needs:
1. Commit yourself
Mirror work creates the deepest changes when it is done consistently over a long period of time. I recommend dedicating a minimum of five minutes a day, with ten minutes or more being ideal.
2. Think about the best time of day
Mirror work is flexible and can work around your schedule. Most people like doing mirror work in the early morning and late at night before going to bed. You can also do mirror work during the day as you pass mirrors. If there are no mirrors in your workplace, you can always use the selfie option on your phone (where you turn the camera towards yourself). You can find a private spot (such as in a bathroom cubicle) to do this exercise while at work.
3. Choose or create your own affirmation
Why use affirmations, you might ponder? Affirmations counteract the negative self-talk that runs through our heads – they also help to reprogram our minds. When we use affirmations, we are affirming something that we like about ourselves or something positive we wish to give ourselves.
You may like to create your own affirmation spontaneously based on how you feel when you look in the mirror. For example, if you feel ugly in that moment of time, you can affirm to yourself, “I have a beautiful heart and soul” or whatever feels most authentic to you. If you feel uncomfortable in your own presence, you can affirm, “It’s okay to feel uncomfortable, I accept myself as I am.”
Alternatively, you can choose from a list of affirmations and experiment with using one affirmation each day. Here are some examples:
I’m learning to love you
I’m willing to take care of you
I love how thoughtful/caring/sincere/____ you are
I am worthy of love
I am enough
I am exactly who I need to be in this moment
It’s okay for me to feel scared
It’s okay for me to feel sad
It’s okay for me to feel awkward
I love how unique my body is
I am beautiful
I am whole
I lovingly embrace my fears
I am fierce and strong
I trust in my natural wisdom
I am open and receptive
I believe in myself
I am healing
There are thousands of affirmations out there – so this is just a little “sampler.” If you would like help creating affirmations tailored to you, please book a 90 minute session.
4. Repeat your affirmation (with feeling)
Whether out loud or in your head, repeat your affirmation to yourself at least ten times. Louise Hay recommends at least 100 times – but that can seem overwhelming at first. The more you repeat your affirmation with sincerity, the deeper the impact. So try to set a realistic number and stick to it. You can always increase the number of times as you progress through your practice.
When saying your affirmation, it’s important to look at yourself directly in the eyes. You may also like to use your own name as this sends a powerful message to your unconscious.
5. Embrace any emotions that arise
It’s normal and okay to feel upset. If you feel the need to cry, let yourself – you are releasing old ways of being, and that is powerful work! You may also wish to give yourself a hug, which is also wonderfully therapeutic. You may wish to say words such as, “It’s okay, I see you, I understand,” “I’m here for you,” “I love how brave you are little [insert name],” etc.
When you use this practice regularly, small changes happen inside that multiply to have profound transformative changes. If you want guidance about any part of the proces, or want facilitated mirror work, please reach out. When those feelings come up, please reach out to get some guidance on releasing any triggers or intense emotions.
I would love to hear your comments.
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